June 08, 2012
Fake Friday: Mayor Watson Can Now Appear At Every Event In Ottawa With New $3.4Million Mobile Command Centre
Using a converted bus chassis, the new Command Vehicle, dubbed "Watson One" will also allow the Mayor to conduct mayoral duties from inside the vehicle and keep in direct contact with councillors using its onboard communications network. A special "mobile council chamber" was also installed within the Command Vehicle to allow impromptu or emergency council meetings to take place while en route to a scheduled appearance by Mayor Watson.
With Watson One, sophisticated computers and portable communications allow the Mayor and his staff to be in constant contact with city events. The $3.4 Million command vehicle is also equipped with a walk in closet full of fleece sweaters and penny loafers, and also a deep fryer. Mayor Watson is excited to utilize the new command vehicle despite some complaints from opponents, but says it will only increase his efficiency of running the Nation's Capital. "It's perfect, now I can be everywhere, all at the same time, and also conduct my duties as Mayor while on the road." Watson exclaimed. Watson 1 will also be given clearance to use the existing Transitway system to expedite travel of the Mayor to his scheduled appearances.
This article originally appeared on the-o-dot and is republished here with the blessing of the reclusive and secretive author.
See also: Ottawa City Hall Guide
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