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July 22, 2011

Fake Friday: Westboro Splash Pad Converted To Use Perrier Water

Westboro - The privileged children of Westboro will no longer be subjected to the harsh water conditions of municipal water when the area's four splash pads will be converted to use Perrier water later this week. Parents in the neighbourhood have lobbied city hall for weeks that the city water previously used at the splash pads was ruining their children's skin and hair. Residents also indicated that they would be willing to pay more in property taxes if the city converted the splash pads water to the less abrasive and conditioned Perrier water.
City of Ottawa Parks and Recreation manager Marcel Benoit made the decision to convert the water used in the Westboro splash pads after receiving numerous complaints from local parents who believe the city water is damaging their children's pale, alabaster skin with high mineral content and possible chlorination. "The conversion to the Perrier water system should alleviate any concerns parents may have that the cooling waters may harm their children." explained Benoit who expects the splash pads to be operating on Perrier by Thursday when temperatures are expected to reach 37 degrees. "Now the kids can frolic in the sprinkling waters without concern for their well-being." Benoit remarked.
A coalition of Westboro parents lobbied Ottawa City Hall to convert the splash pads in early June when they noticed their children were complaining that their hair was less soft and manageable after a visit to the municipal water fed water parks. Westboro Parent Association President, Carlene Hechenburg contacted the city and demanded the splash pads be converted to the less abrasive Perrier water after contacting Perrier and discovering they can provide water for splash pads in more affluent neighbourhoods. "This will ensure both parents and children in the area can enjoy cooling down without worrying about water quality." replied Hechenburg.
Westboro splash pads will require those attending the specialized facilities to provide proof of Westboro residence upon arrival where city staff they will also issue a Tilley Hat and SPF95 sunscreen.

This article originally appeared on the-o-dot and is republished with kind permission of the author.

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1 comment:

  1. Haha, that's awesome!

    I also hear than splash pads in the Glebe are going to switch to French artisanal spring water that is only touched by monks during its processing.


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