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April 08, 2011

Fake Friday: Canadians Excited About "Roll-Up-The-Rim To Be New Prime Minister"

Ottawa - Tired of having to deal with yet another election to determine who will be Canada's next Prime Minister, Canadians are excited to turn to their coffee to have a chance of winning the seat as Prime Minister. Coffee giant Tim Horton's launched today their new "Roll Up The Rim To Win Prime Minister" contest that allows customers to roll up their coffee cup rims to see if they win the coveted leader's position. 
Tim Horton's President and CEO Herb Macklin officially launched the promotional campaign from a franchise store in Ottawa earlier this morning and is excited to offer Canadians a chance of becoming Prime Minister through this exciting new contest. "I sat down with the Governor General and discussed in great lengths how Canadians are sick and tired of the constant election barrage every year, and we worked out this amazing contest where one lucky winner will be awarded the prize of Prime Minister." Macklin stated from a podium at the the local Tim Horton's outlet. "You have a 1 in 30 million chance of rolling up a rim and discovering you will be a resident of 24 Sussex Drive!" exclaimed Macklin to an excited crowd of coffee swilling Canadians who gathered in the store to try their luck at winning the prize. 
Recent polls show most Canadians are tired and apathetic towards yet another election, but are excited about the Tim Hortons contest. "I'm sick of all the government bickering, so this new contest is a nice change." Tim Hortons customer Glenn Droppo commented as he ordered a double double. "I'm grateful we now have an alternative to the current circus going on, and at the same time enjoying a cup of joe." 
The "Roll-Up-the Rim To Win Prime Minister" contest closes May 2, when the winner will be made Prime Minister in a special ceremony at Rideau Hall.
Editor's note: Most Fridays on OttawaStart, we feature a "best of" post from the-o-dot, the satirical Ottawa blog.

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