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December 17, 2010

Fake Friday: Westboro To Use Artisan Sea Salt On Icy Roads

Westboro - The affluent neighbourhood of Westboro will be enjoying the use of imported artisan sea salt on its roads this winter thanks to a motion passed by Ward Councillor Katherine Hobbs. Hobbs had requested the use of the special salt or "sel de mer", as an alternative to the usual coarse road salt currently used on other city streets. Westboro residents have been complaining the regular salt was affecting the finish on their BMW's, Land Rovers and Audis, with some drivers reluctant to even drive on salted raods for fear of the coarse salt ruining the soles of their Italian footwear and staining their Lululemon stretch pants.

"The regular road salt was really dulling the finish on some residents vehicles to the point where they would have to wash their car once a week." Hobbs explained. "The artisan salt provides a gentler melting action and will be less corrosive on their clothing and cars." Many Ottawa residents are upset that Westboro will receive the special salt, but understand that the higher taxes in the neighbourhood will cover the extra cost of the imported salt. "Well if they want to pay for it, I guess let them have their sea salt." commented Carl Tollbar, a Vanier resident. " I saw one guy put some on his fries last time I was in Westboro." Tollbar remarked.

Imported from the south of France, the new artisan sea salt will increase road salting costs by 475%, but Hobbs sees the benefits far outweighing the increased costs. "My ward residents are quite happy to pay extra taxes if they can enjoy the benefits of the artisan salt." Hobbs replied. City Hall passed the motion put forward by Hobbs, and Westboro residents should start seeing the application of the sea salt as early as next week on their neighbourhood roads. Discussions are also underway to have area sidewalks plowed with organic bamboo shovels instead of the regular metal scrapers used by current sidewalk snow removal units.
Editor's note: Every Friday on OttawaStart, we feature a "best of" post from the-o-dot, the satircal Ottawa blog. This article originally appeared here.

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