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October 08, 2010

Fake Friday: Stroller Jam Snarls Traffic On Wellington West

Wellington Village- An early morning stroller jam caused an extremely difficult sidewalk and street situation for those that braved Wellington West Saturday morning. Hundreds of strollers jammed the area as parents robotically pushed their over-sized child movers onto sidewalks towards coffee shops, trendy children's boutiques and organic food stores. The stroller jam caused delays for both motorists and pedestrians as they tried to carefully navigate through the sea of oversized strollers, most with screaming children inside.

One pedestrian was slightly injured when a stroller ran over his foot as he was attempting to exit a coffee shop. "I just got my latte and was heading out the door when this massive stroller barged into me, crushing my foot as the parent tried to manoeuvre the thing through the small doorway." exclaimed Terry Lumus who was later rushed to hospital with a cracked ankle. A more serious accident was narrowly avoided when a trailer stroller being towed behind a bike almost jack-knifed near Caroline Avenue as the rider tried to swerve and avoid another stroller.

"The situation is getting progressively worse," cited local store owner Hank VanSteeles who has operated a small tailor shop on Wellington West for over 50 years. 'There never used to be this much stroller traffic back in the old days, but heck, I don't think they even had strollers in my day, the kid was placed in a burlap potato sack and carried quietly over the shoulder." reminisced VanSteeles. Like most store owners VanSteeles is apprehensive about the recent influx of giant strollers to the area and hopes some bylaws are put in place regarding their usage on sidewalks.

The stroller jam snarled traffic for up to three hours, with most stroller operators ignoring pleas for help as they were too engrossed in their organic lattes, the trendy furniture stores or their designer footwear. Police were later called on to the scene and traffic began to resume to normal conditions after 35 strollers were either towed or forcibly removed.
Editor's note: Every Friday on OttawaStart, we feature a "best of" post from the-o-dot, the satircal Ottawa blog. This article originally appeared here.

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