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August 20, 2010

Fake Friday: Stittsville Suburban Community "Deer Run" Mysteriously Devoid Of Any Deer, Trees: Study

Stittsville - A recent independent study has confirmed that the suburban development by Richcraft Homes called "Deer Run", actually does not contain any deer or trees as implied by their signage and advertising. The dramatic loss of the natural deer from the development comes as a mysterious shock to both residents and developers alike, who used to see deer all the time within the vinyl clad streets of the suburb. "My kids and I would go for a walk down our street and have herds of deer follow us, and we'd even feed them from our minivan on the way to school." reminisced Deer Run resident Mike Turner who has lived in the community since 2006.

The study conducted by GenCom NaturCorp was initiated after residents noticed the absence of any deer on their streets. Gencom researcher, Kelly Overbrook explained, "This decrease in deer at "Deer Run" could be blamed on a number of factors, including the fact there are absolutely no trees for deer to feed off or to provide shelter. It could also be that they moved to a new suburban development." Mattamy Homes has recently created a new family oriented suburb nearby entitled "Woodgrove Estates" that may have attracted all the deer.

Richcraft Homes Operations Manager Patricia Bonseigel reported that "Deer Run" opened in 2006 with more than enough deer present and is baffled at their sudden disappearance from the community. "We really thought they would stay, that's why a lot of people moved to this tranquil setting." remarked Bonseigel. "Richcraft Homes takes pride in providing a natural environment for its residents, we just planted 6 trees and even made sure to name a street "BurblingBrook Avenue" with a drainage ditch alongside to encourage and maintain that way of life."

GenCom Research is also conducting a study for Minto Home Developments to determine the cause for the lack of happiness in their suburbs in contrast to their signage showing smiling, playful families frolicking in a grassy field.
Editor's note: Every Friday on OttawaStart, we'll feature a "best of" post from the-o-dot, a new satircal Ottawa blog. This article originally appeared here.

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